About a forgotten knitting bag

This past weekend, as I was going through a stack of stuff in the room that was formerly known as the guest room (I would abbreviate that but TRTWFKATGR seems even more cumbersome) I came across the most adorable little project bag. I wonder what's inside!

Knitters have multiple project bags. It's because knitters have multiple projects. Sometimes I stuff more than one project in a project bag, but I try to keep my projects monogamous. Too much tangling of yarn, confusion of needles, patterns in disarray. It's best to keep things separate.

This practice is all well and good until I forget about a project. That's what happened with the Point Reyes Mitts stuffed in the most adorable little project bag that I uncovered last weekend.

Ta da!

Project background:  My mom gave me some Knitpicks Swish DK--1 ball of cream and 2 balls of teal. She shipped the package to me with no explanation, just 3 balls of yarn. I remember her ordering the yarn for mittens, so why send it to me? Of course, I had to call her and ask. Swish DK is 100% wool, but it's superwash. Mom was expecting to get good, old fashioned DK weight wool. In other words, scratchy. Superwash is not scratchy, and when she felt the yarn it was too soft and didn't conform to her Scandinavian expectations of what wool should be. She gave it to me. No complaints!

I decided to make the Point Reyes fingerless mitts. It's a fun little pattern with an enjoyable lace design on the back of the hands. I finished one and nearly finished the other. Then, I chucked my project bag into the room that was formerly known as the guest room, and the project fell off the radar. When I found the project again, I only had two rows left on the thumb. I plunked my butt on the sofa, knit those last two rows, bound off and wove in all the ends. In less than 30 minutes I had a finished project! Talk about instant gratification (that took about 8 months.) I wonder what else is lurking in TRTWFKATGR....

Project notes: knit with size 5 DPNs. I'd go up to a 6 if I knit these again, or I'd add a couple more stitches somehow. I think 2 stitches added in the palm would be just enough. I used a knitted bindoff so it would be nice and stretchy. The twisted rib really draws in the size. I'd also like to lengthen the cuff about an inch so my wrists are a little less exposed.

What the Fugly? Let's face it...

...this is really fugly crochet.

 

Even if it was freezing cold, I don't think I'd want to wrap myself up in someone's face. That almost sounds like a Monty Python song. But what makes the afghan what-the-fugly-worthy and even more extra special is the staging of the photo. I love the all crap on the floor and the bare pink mattress. Sometimes the best stuff in a photo is the junk around the edges. Never be afraid to use the crop tool.

Just what is that beside the bed? Ick.

Danny Zuko (Grease) and Cornelius (Planet of the Apes)....separated at birth.

Terrifying. Absolutely terrifying.

 

And how 'bout that pun? 

But...

I bought yarn.

BUT it doesn't count because it's going to be used for a Christmas gift and will be all used up before the end of the year. BUT it doesn't count because my [insert air quotes] FRIENDS (and they know who they are) goaded me on. BUT it doesn't count as stash until it goes into a ziploc bag in the room formerly known as the guest room. Right?  

Last night, I was talking to my son on the phone. Zack's away at college (give me a break, I know it's only 7 miles, but it's still "away") and hasn't seen the room formerly known as the guest room for a couple months. In all honesty, and I freely admit this, the room has gotten a bit worse. The other day I had to straddle a box in order to reach the ironing board so I could press a pair of slacks. In turning to leave the room, I tripped on the box and knocked the hot iron off the board into another box of yarn. Better than on my foot! Anyway, back to the phone call. How the topic of yarn entered the conversation is still unclear, but he asked, "how many giant ziploc bags of yarn do you have in that room?"

"As in actual "ziploc" brand bags?"

"No. As in any plastic bag that has yarn in it. Oh my God. The fact that you had to ask that proves that you have finally reached hoarder status."

"No, it doesn't."

"Hoarder."

I bought this yarn (that I said I wasn't going to buy) to make Zack a pair of socks for Christmas. I think I'll wrap them in a giant ziploc.

What the Fugly? A man suit

Warning! Mature content (seriously) on display below the scroll!



I apologize for opening this can of worms, or more appropriately, this Pandora's box. And like poor, unfortunate Pandora, I can't close the box. The damage has been done. I can't unsee what my eyes have already seen. Therefore, I feel compelled to share.
 

So, this knitter walks into a yarn shop and says to the yarn shop owner, "I gotta knit me some  fuzzy skin, genitals, chest hair and pubes."
 

 

The belly button and treasure trail are a nice touch. I wonder if the guy has a butt crack and back hair. But seriously (if one can be serious) what in the world would possess someone to knit this? I'm not being rhetorical. I really want to know. This fugly has me worried. And a little scared.

The visual pun might be a little obscure, but this having been knit with mohair has me giggling like a 12 year old. (Like the guy needs mo' hair....bwahahahahahaha!)

The world wide web is a wonderful thing. A wonderful, horrible thing. With a few innocent clicks of the mouse one can get buried in a bizarre maze of wild ideas and outrageous concepts. One can also get consumed looking for ugly knitted crap. However, today's search was easy. I found this...this..."suit" in five mouse clicks. Oh how I wish I had stopped after that fourth click.


 

Something old, something new

I couldn't figure out which project to highlight today. Should I conform to the recent "throwback Thursday" trend on Facebook? Should I show off my newest finished object? Decisions, decisions.

Why not both?

This photo is me, taken this morning in my bathroom (before coffee), wearing my latest finished piece--the "Lacy Baktus" scarf/shawlette knit in Lana Grossa Lace Lux. This has been my travel knitting for the past several months. The pattern is quite simple, perhaps too simple. I can't count how many times I had to rip the sucker back because I forgot to increase or spaced out the YO, K2TOG row.

The yarn is a viscose/wool blend. It's a neat blend of fuzzy halo and silky sheen, and it's a lot warmer than I orginally thought it would be. That's important because the temperature in my office is a bracing 63 degrees. I have learned to layer and incorporate fashionable scarves into my wardrobe. I'm really not trying to be trendy, just trying to keep warm.

Now for the old project. I was going through a stack of computer backup CDs the other day and came across a photo of this little guy. I knit him for a coworker who was going through a particularly nasty personal crisis. Nothing says "happy happy" like a purple bunny!

 

I don't remember exactly when I knit him, but it was way before Ravelry was in existence. I purchased the yarn from Angel Hair Yarn Co. when they were still in their original shop. (They have since closed their doors.) This was also before Haus of Yarn opened their doors. Those of you familiar with Nashville should know the time frame. I'm talking at least 12 years ago, maybe longer.

The pattern is from Fiber Trends and I used 2 skeins of Noro Kureyon with a little bit of Plymouth Galway for the tail, feet and ears. I wonder if he's still spreading happiness. After knitting this little guy I knit several more...because you know what they say about rabbits and multiplication.

As for tomorrow's "What-the-Fugly?", stay tuned! I've been researching projects over the past week and, with a little help from my friends (and you know who you are), stumbled upon the mother lode.

What the Fugly? "The First" or the debut of a new twitter trend

Some might call this "Fugly Friday". I call it "What the Fugly?"

Do your children sleep through the night?
Do they jump into bed without a thought of monsters lurking underneath?

Do they dream of fairies and sugar plums?
 

PUT A STOP TO IT NOW!

 

Yes, Mom and Dad, you can end your child’s nighttime security with a simple crocheted

MINI AUTOMIC FURBALL LOVEY

The pattern for this insomnia-creating wonder can be yours for an amazing $3.50

Buy it now!

Don’t let your children have another sweet dream!

 

Fine print:

Offer good only in the U.S.A. Lion Brand recommended but greater results and added skin irritation, complete with bed wetting, achieved with Red Heart.