Ideas for Cards Against Humanity


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"Cards Against Humanity" is like a politically incorrect "Apples to Apples" gone horribly wrong. However, it's hilarious...especially when paired with margaritas and a bunch of good friends who each possess a warped sense of humor similar to mine. Here are some of the "dumb ideas" I've submitted the the "Cards" folks. Feel free to use them on the "make your own" card blanks but don't forget to acknowledge my awesomeness. (If you want to throw some cash my way, that's good too!)

Fine print: If you don't know the game, this won't make sense!
This page will be updated as more dumb ideas become available.
If you find this offensive, go somewhere else. The internet is vast.

One of the funnier combos during a recent game:

 White cards
After birth
A cat yacking up a hairball
Getting your asshole waxed for free
A hula hoop
Al Gore
My placenta
A galaxy far, far away
Pissing into the wind
Farting in an elevator
Feeding the cat
Your mama
A case of aggravated hemorrhoids
Winter bush
Crop dusting
A flux capacitor
Liquor? I don't even know her!
Getting drunk on mouthwash.
Dry humping
Playing the race card
The entire cast of "Diff'rent Strokes."
An appalling lack of sensitivity.
Dead baby jokes.
Jacking off to "Good Housekeeping."
Double penetration.
Getting caught by your mom.
Getting naked and watching "Barney".
Playing "Cards Against Humanity" with your kids.
A stray pube.
Bond. James Bond.
A plunger to the face.
Miley Cyrus
Glory holes
Shitting barbed wire.
Being a mother fucking cock sucker.
Stranger danger.
Mr. Potatohead.
A douche-bag.
Smurfette snatch.
Porno movies featuring aging Disney child stars.
Anal beads and butt plugs.
Boob crack.
A spanking.
The biggest, blackest dick.
Getting slapped in the face with the Confederate Flag
Being up douche creek with a chopstick paddle.
Up the butt, Bob.

 Black cards 
When I reached the end of the internet, I found _______.
Can't touch this.
Wasted away again in ______.
Good to the last drop.
Before I go to sleep every night I think about ______.
I love it when I see _____.
I like to cook _____.
Only you can prevent ______.
We don't need no stinkin' ______!
Define Utopia
What helps Barack Obama unwind?
Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on  _______.
Baa baa black sheep, have you any _____?
Twinkle, twinkle little ______.
The weirdest place I've had sex is ______.
My premature orgasms are caused by _______.
If you're happy and you know it, clap your _______.
What are my parents hiding from me?
What gets better with age?
When I fart, I blame it on _____.
Finger licking good!
The best wedding gift for gay couples.


  1. Cool Ideas...If you need more check out my CAH site.

  2. When you trying to cough and you already coughed twice but you dont want people to think that you have ____ Ebola. example.


Let's all play nice