About spring +6

March 26, 2013 (6 days into "Spring")
The Inner Circle
Punxsutawney Groundhog Club
102 W Mahoning St
Punxsutawney, PA 15767

Dear Groundhog Club President:

I feel compelled to inform you about the negative experience I had this morning at my home in Nashville, Tennessee. It has been ten days since I expected to receive the order Spring that I placed with your company on February 2, 2013. There is only one word that describes how I felt when I looked out the window today and saw a fresh layer of snow. Shit. Please see attached photos.

This is unacceptable. The advertising set forth by your company clearly states that if a certain groundhog does not see its shadow upon emerging from its little hidey hole, spring will come early. As you will recall, February 2, 2013 was quite overcast, and it was even snowing in some locations. It was widely broadcast that the rodent was unable to see a shadow of any kind before he scurried back under ground. This event was documented by several national news agencies and widely reported as fact. As such, people around the country set aside their differences, rejoiced and placed their orders for spring when they heard the rodent's prediction. To the best of my knowledge, everyone who placed their order for spring on or after that day has been royally screwed.

So, I ask, what the in the hell happened? The weather has been for crap lately. The men in top hats and their furry rodent have failed to meet this simple expectation and have failed to perform in accordance with the standard of care exercised by other reputable men in top hats and rodents practicing under similar circumstances. I will concede that there have been a couple of decent days, but we have experienced nothing remotely resembling spring. A serious error has occurred. As such, I demand that the Groundhog Club expedite the delivery of spring to my doorstep and credit my account for the past 6 cold and crappy days. If not, the rodent is going to end up as a coat.

Warmest regards (even though I'm freezing my butt off)
Chris...and the rest of the nation