About turtle sex

Turtle sex is not something I've given much thought, or any thought really...until Randy and I went to the Tennessee Aquarium in Chattanooga this past weekend.

I am sad that I didn't get photos or videos to corroborate my discourse of the two counts of turtle sex we witnessed. But in my defense, with all the kids and families about, taking a video of two turtles in the act didn't seem like a very tasteful thing to do. So we openly watched them. Who wouldn't?

The whole thing was pretty funny. Both turtle couples lived in freshwater habitats and were like the turtles you see sunning on logs and rocks along the lakeshore. The first couple we encountered was swimming along the bottom of their habitat. The man turtle was chasing the lady turtle and you could tell she wasn't that into him. He was quite a bit slower and larger than she was, and he kept trying to swim on top of her (wink wink). Just as he would get into position, he extended his front arms and fluttered his claws in her face really fast. (Not a foreplay technique I've ever heard of and probably not the smoothest way to get into a lady's shell!) She'd swim away, he'd swim into position and then flutter in her face. Nothing about the claw fluttering was the least bit sexy. I'm sure turtle sex takes enough concentration as it is, without having claws fluttering in your face.

The next turtle encounter seemed to be more consensual for the lady turtle was standing on the sandy floor of the habitat in plain site of everyone else in the aquarium. Man turtle would climb on top of lady turtle and then slide off. Climb on, slide off. Climb on, slide off. Dude, I felt like Mr. Miyagi in  Karate Kid! In an aquarium full of tourists you can bet that we weren't the only ones to witness this reptilian love-making. A couple (human) standing about 4 feet away were just as mesmerized. As they walked away the man sighed and said to the woman, "well, that was unsuccessful." We kept watching. Yes, kind of pervy, but it was nature! Then a woman and her pre-teen daughter noticed the action. Mom tried to be cool and point out the fish but daughter zeroed in on the live sex show (that will net some disappointed Google searchers!) As they were walked away, daughter said to mom, "that turtle accidentally swam on top of the other turtle." Mom muttered, "that was no accident", grabbed her daughter's arm and steered her away from the hard-shell porn. We continued watching as the man turtle kept climbing up and sliding off. Maybe that's their "way"? It just looked more exhausting than enjoyable...but I'm not a turtle.

So, while I didn't get any x-rated turtle photos, I did get some g-rated photos of a couple other creatures.