I want to rock!

Last Saturday, Randy and I went to see the play "Rock of Ages" at the Tennessee Performing Arts Center (TPAC). I've been looking forward to this show coming to Nashville since Zack and I saw it in Pittsburgh on Thanksgiving night in 2010. When I found out Nashville was one of there tour dates, I set a calendar reminder to buy tickets as soon as they became available. (We had great seats!) If you haven't seen or heard of Rock of Ages (RoA), here's a bit of background. It's set during the height of the hair band era of the 80s on Sunset Strip. The music is amazing, all the stuff I grew up with...Poison, Journey, Twisted Sister, Foreigner, etc.

Well, to honor the era I decided to rock! I warned Randy, who agreed to wear a black shirt but that was as far as he would take it. I, on the other hand, spent an hour teasing my hair. Jeans, high heels, layered pink and black lacey camisoles (revealing my ample boob crack), silver chains, strands of pearls, black eyeliner, sparkly eye shadow, lip gloss, bracelets, huge dangling earrings and a bad ass black denim jacket with the sleeves rolled up. I. Was. Hot. I was also afraid of any heat source or open flame. My hair was amazing. Sorry folks, but no photos. You'll have to take my word for it. Imagine two days and a half a bottle of conditioner to get all the tangles out of my hair.

Having seen the show in Pittsburgh, I knew I wouldn't be the only one rocking the 1980s look. However, with this being Nashville, the primary clothing choice of my fellow theater-goers leaned heavily towards denim (a good thing) and flannel (rather than heavily studded leather). There were a few exceptions...vintage concert t-shirts, animal prints and a few who actually wore suits. Then there was "ass crack girl". She was amazing. When we first walked into the lobby of the theater, I caught a glimpse of a girl (late 20s, early 30s) wearing a skin tight, short flesh-colored dress. The color of the dress was so close to the color of skin, that I did a double take as I nudged Randy with my elbow in order to point her out. As I was about to say something snarky, she turned ever so slightly and the light hit her ass just right and WOWZA, there was her ass crack! Showing right through the dress! Folks, there is not much that renders me snarkless, but this did. Once my vocal chords caught up with my brain, I think couldn't help but explode with laugh/snort. Randy was enthralled, and, to be honest, so was I. We moved through the crowd so we could get a little closer and get a better view. Yep. Her dress was so tight and thin that her ass crack was fully revealed. The closer we got, the more defined it was. Oh, and we were not the only ones who noticed. I don't know what was more of a kick, giggling about seeing her ass crack or watching the reaction of the people who also noticed it. And if you haven't guessed by now, she was not wearing any panties, not even a thong. No room.

Time for clarification. There is no suppressed girl on girl fantasy going on here. I like men! But this was like looking at a freakin' train wreck. And seriously, if she didn't want everyone to look at her butt she should have checked it out in the mirror before walking out of the house. Rather than, "honey, does this dress make my butt look big?" she should have asked "honey, does my ass crack show?" But, Randy pointed out that even if she did ask if it showed, her boyfriend probably said no. Pig.

The whole point of this story, yes I kind of have one, is that my cell phone sucks. I was unable to get any good photos of my fantastic hair...or of ass crack girl. That justifies an upgrade.

\m/